As a teen I played guitar in a band and I thought I was going to be a glorious rockstar. No greater high on earth existed than performing and having an encore (even if only friends cheered and we didn’t know any more songs to follow up with). When I taught English in Korea I’d sometimes get the same sort of feeling, like if a student let me know that I was engaging their curiosity. As a photographer, I also get that same high when somebody really enjoyed and was moved by their wedding, and they’re so happy to have the photographs. At the heart of it, it’s a sense of being appreciated that I’m describing. It’s emotional crack (in the words of Lady Gaga: I live for the applause).
Mark (whose wedding is coming up really soon) gave me this feeling recently. He asked me to blog about his engagement session (hence this blog), because he likes to read my stuff. This was pretty flattering and I actually know he’s serious: awhile back I checked to see if anybody had subscribed to my blog and in addition to two or three spambots, there was a human: Mark.
It’s surprising how validating that is. Don’t get me wrong…I have some confidence in my writing, but it has good days and bad ones. I get the same ups and downs with my photography, and a lot of things for that matter. One day I blogged about these shifts in confidence and Mark immediately sent me a Facebook message reassuring me that my photography was good, so I needn’t feel down and out. It’s amazing what this does to lift you up. That’s twice Mark lifted me up.
So, Mark, in some ways I’m writing this blog as more a letter to you, to let you know that I really appreciate your spirit…whatever it is in you that makes you reach out to people and fluff them up :-). Yours is a rare type of kindness and it matters–it has real effects on people, like me.
I have more to say about you (and Lindsay), and it’ll have to wait until your wedding day.